Stimulating Conversations

Ok, so there have been 2 guys I’ve had major interaction with since my last column. BMW boy, who is so named because of his obsession with is car, which is, wait for it, a BMW. He can talk about this thing forever. Even if you’re not listening or giving any indication that you care. He’s a nice enough guy, stable, not bad looking, but he’s also what I call …..insane. He decided before he even met me in person, just online, that he was going to marry me. So instead of just being able to get to know him, like I would somebody else, I had to deal with him not so patiently “waiting” for us to become a happy couple and live happily ever after. Well, this makes me not want to get to know somebody because he’s constantly trying to be what I want and keep me happy, and I can’t respect that. I can’t respect something fake. So it was his birthday last week, I baked him a cake cause I felt kinda bad for him cause he didn’t have anybody to spend his birthday with…and I really love frosting. He came over and we were hanging out. He keeps pushing me to get to know him better because I told him before any sort of relationship could happen I’d have to get to know him. I meant naturally, he thinks I mean let’s tell each other everything possible about ourselves in under 2 hours. He told me basically his life story and when I didn’t reciprocate he got really upset. Drama drama drama. I hate drama. I told him that I can’t just blurt of my life story, I’m just not that way. The important aspects of my life will come out in time in situations that are relevant. He just said that I’m not even trying and he doesn’t know what he can even do anymore to make this work. I felt like I was in a bad episode of 90210. I don’t even really have feelings for him. I don’t know how I can pretend to have feelings for somebody. He got really upset that I wasn’t getting pulled into the drama. So know he’s “mad” at me and not speaking to me. And I’m trying to care. Ok, I’m really not.

The other guy I guess, well, I don’t know what to think about him. He’s a very smart guy, masters in physics or something crazy like that. Intellectually, he’s a great match for me. I love talking to him, I love arguing with him. I love that he can make me think and that he challenges me. He’s also one of the most shallow people I’ve ever met. He spends his time talking about how he wants young skinny perky girls. Which I can understand, but really, I’m none of these things, so I don’t really know why he bothers talking to me. It makes me feel really insecure and the first time we made out, I made up an excuse to leave because I just felt fat. So the other night we hung out again, went to see this really boring play. I just don’t get plays. Anyway, we went back to his place and things got…frisky, we ended up having really bland awkward sex in which he stared at my feet the entire time. Which well, whatever, I was so insecure about how I looked I just didn’t care. I know the biological reasons that guys are obsessed with young girls, but come on, eww. So, yeah I don’t know what’s gonna come of that. Hopefully nothing. We’ve talked since then, and it’s the same as before, but I’m not sure where we are sex wise. Oh well, just another thing to avoid. I guess.

And then there is latin boy, how could I forget about latin boy? I talked to him on the phone for an hour and a half last night. I don’t know why this guy makes me feel so…..well whatever I feel, I’ve never felt it for anybody else before. Ask my roommate, it’s disgusting how I act when I talk about him. Even I’m disgusted by it. Everytime I talk to him I am torn between flying out to meet him and cutting him out of my life completely. I just think the way I feel about him is almost silly, like it’s based on something I hope he is, rather than who he really is. But at the same time, I can’t help feeling the way I do, whether I rationalize it or not. And he’s the only guy that really makes me horny. I’m not one to be horny really, as you’ve probably noticed I wouldn’t mind avoiding sex in general all together. But after talking with I’m so horny I can’t even stand it. Stupid accents. Get me every time. So, there it is, I have no conclusion, just overviews of the male encounters in my life. If I had conclusions or advice, well, I’d probably be doing something about it. But I don’t and so I can’t. The one guy who wants me, I don’t want, the one guy I want, I can’t have and the other guy, well, I just don’t know what to think about him at all.