Stimulating Conversations

So, as I promised, here is an account of what happened the night of the work party. It’s a lesson folks.

So every once in a while there is a party at work for socializing, fooding and drinking. It’s never really that much fun, but it beats doing nothing. Oh, and it’s always fun to see your coworkers get totally blitzed. So, I brought the Jello shots, because nothing is more fun than brightly colored jiggly alcohol. Now, I admit, I had more than a few before I got there. I was terribly bored that night and I really didn’t feel like being at home. The party wasn’t that exciting, not many people showed up. The 40 year old I had gone out with a few times dropped by to say hi. So after drinking for a while at the office me and few of my other co-workers decided to go downtown. There was this art festival thing, so all the businesses, including mine, were hosting art and providing drinks and food. We ended up at an associate office where I had a couple glasses of wine. One of the guys at this office, let’s call him J used to work at my office. We had always flirted, but nothing more than that.

So me, J, and a few others decide to go to a bar close by. Two other guys, one a co-worker and one was a huge bigwig in the company, one other girl coworker as well. Now I was sufficiently trashed at this point. I’m not a big drinker, so a couple jello shots and two glasses of wine really did me in. I remember flirting with some guys and at some point J kissed me. Did I mention that J and bigwig are both in their late 40’s? After the bar we decided to go to the local “Caberet” aka strip club. I had never been before. I ended up making out with J for quite a while in his car. He was a damn good kisser.

Isn’t it strange how there are some people that just kiss you how you like to be kissed? I’ve kissed a lot of guys and most of them, it just never feels 100% like we’re meshing. Most of the time it’s like a 80% mesh. I’d say J was a 99% mesh.

We stayed at the strip club for a while, it was actually extremely boring. We decided to go back downtown to the bar that everybody always ends up with after they’ve been everywhere else. You know the one. The dive bar. Somewhere along the way we lost male coworker, none of us were really sure what happened to him. So me, J, female coworker and bigwig were still there hanging out. We were all kinda flirting and kissing and talking. J was really coming on strong, wanted me to go back to his place. Wouldn’t stop rubbing on me. But then bigwig started flirting with me and at that point my buzz was wearing off and I really really really did not want to go home with J. J is a little bit psycho and has major anger issues. I just didn’t think any good would come of it. So I started flirting with bigwig just to give J the message. J got really pissed off and stormed out. He called me from the parking lot and tried again to get me to go home with him.

At this point I really just wanted to go home, but wasn’t quite thinking straight. Bigwig asked if I wanted to come hang out at his place for a while and since I didn’t have my car, I said sure. The bar was closing anyway. So we get to his house and he starts just getting weird. Now this is a guy who is married, makes 500k a year and is a pretty intelligent man. He gets naked and wants to lay down with him. We start making out and he starts asking me things like “have you always wanted to be with me” and “do you love me” and saying things like “I’ve always wanted you” and “I can’t believe I have you, I don’t want this to end” and stuff. He just keeps repeating it over and over. He got very clingy. He didn’t want to have sex, he just wanted to “cuddle”. It really was the most bizarre thing, I was afraid he was going to chain me up in his basement and feed me only old stale valentines day candy out of those cardboard heart boxes. At one point he fell asleep and I tried to get out of his kung fu grip. He woke up and screamed “NO! I don’t like it when you do that!” and grabbed me back to the bed. I didn’t know where I was so I couldn’t call a cab to come get me. So I just laid there all night in his kung fu grip not sleeping. Oh, did I mention his dog kept humping my leg?

All in all, not a fun night. The next morning was awkward. He still proceeded with the “I love you, I want you, do you love me” crap. I have been avoiding his calls ever since. I saw him once and he tried to play it all casual. But now, all I can thinking about his clingy crybaby self.

J called me constantly for the next two weeks. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, he was dead set on us hooking up. I stopped taking his calls and when I did pick up out of annoyance he said he was just calling to see if I’d pick up. Very strange. I ran into him once when I was out with another guy and he straight up pretended like he didn’t see me, even though he walked right by me, not two feet from my face. He then texted me 15 minutes later to see what I was doing that night and if I wanted to hang out. Man, I am so glad I didn’t sleep with him. Oh, question for the guys, if a girl is completely trashed and still makes the decision not to sleep with you, why do you think you have a chance when she is sober?

So, what to make of all of this? 2 middle aged men. One married, one single. Both insane in their own rights. I must be insane too. Or maybe it was all just the alcohol. But at least I was able to realize what a bad idea everything was after I sobered up.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, don’t drink with your coworkers.