Stimulating Conversations

Okay, so we’ve all been there.  You’re in the middle of an act that can’t be shown on network television when suddenly something triggers your gag reflex.  It could be a fishy vagina or some particularly disgusting semen.  Sex organs all have particularly unique flavors and scents which are totally natural, although that doesn’t necessarily make it more pleasant.  So why do you taste and smell that way?  Well, I’m glad you asked!

Men-Fellows

Plenty of us ladies know that semen has a singularly unpleasant salty, bitter, soapy taste.  But why?  Well, it’s all about survival.  Vaginas are highly acidic environments (we’ll get to that later) so in order to survive long enough for sperm to meet egg, the semen needs to be in a basic (in the chemistry sense, there’s nothing simple about this) solution.  This doesn’t necessarily ensure that sperm will survive long enough to hit the cervix and the uterus, but it’s the only hope your swimmers have of seeing an egg.  In fact, the entire solution is designed for the sperm to be able to get sustenance and energy from it before their last long haul up the fallopian tubes.  That’s part of why the solution is so high in protein.

Coincidently, the solution in question is composed of only a small quantity of  sperm.  The majority of it is seminal fluid from the prostate gland, the seminal vesicles, and the bulbourethral glands.  Luckily for you, the majority of the fluid does not come from the testicles.  That means if you opt to have a vasectomy at some point in life, you will still have ejaculate even though it will not carry sperm.

Lady-Folk

This is just a little more complicated than the men, honestly.  The vagina is an incredibly complex organ which does a whole lot of cool stuff.  It gets its unique flavor (note:  the vagina should not be fishy smelling or tasting but we’ll get to that in a minute) from the fact it’s a highly acidic environment.  The acid is actually to kill bacteria.  That’s right, your vagina can clean itself!  When left to its own devices, your vagina can take care of itself indefinitely.  A healthy vagina should have an almost lemony flavor (you should never be able to smell a vagina unless your face is planted against it except during certain parts of your menstrual cycle).  If your vagina does have a fishy smell, that means you’ve probably contracted vaginal bacteriosis.  What’s that?  Well, it means your natural pH was probably disrupted (usually due to douching or attempts to clean the vagina) and some bacteria have moved in and made themselves at home.  What’s that?  Did I just say that douching is a bad idea?  Because it is.  A healthy vagina will clean itself.  Attempting to clean a healthy vagina will lead to an unhealthy vagina.  Just don’t do it.  If you’ve started douching, stop.  Eventually, the pH will balance back out again.  A vagina almost never needs any more than a water cleansing of the labia majora during a menstrual cycle to clean off the blood.  A healthy diet with plenty of water will usually be the only assistance your vagina needs.

So there you go, the reason your body parts have smells and flavors all comes down to a chemical reaction between acids and bases.  When mixed, an acid and a base will create salt and water.  This manages to protect the sperm and the vagina from eachother.  A single difference in the pH of either could potentially have spelled disaster for the whole human race.  So tonight when you go to get lucky, look down and thank your hoohoo/wang that it’s perfectly designed so that we didn’t become extinct millions of years ago.