Stimulating Conversations

401- I Digress

Obviously, I haven’t been writing as many columns as there have been weeks since I started. There is a very simple reason for that.  It is very difficult to write a column about sex without actually HAVING any sex.  In fact, having to sit down and write about sex is about the last thing I want to do when the only thing on my mind is how badly I need it.
So in stead of just giving up writing the column for a while, like a sane person would do, Moxie, Cyn, and Floopy unanimously declared that I should write a piece about it.
What the hizzy?
All I’d be doing is whining and bitching, but, I guess majority rules. Besides it makes a nice counter to last weeks’ ‘Cyn’s Sins’

402- Build Up

So, to avoid all the bitching, I need to make it relevant, which requires explanation. Also introversion and self analysis. Luckily these are my strong point these days.

I’m a guy (shock!)
stereotypically a guy is never not in the mood. And while the stereotype is most definitely bosh as many of my female friends have been dismayed to discover, such is not the case for me. In a previous column I’ve mentioned that I masturbate quite a bit. Lets say a rough average of 6 orgasms a day. It fluctuates quite a bit, and I often don’t actually proceed all the way to orgasm, but it’s pretty apparent from that that I don’t have much in the way of a recuperation time. I think my record is 4 orgasms in an hour.

So, yes, drop your pants and biologically I’m ready to go, (possibly even halfway there already)

403- Mind Games

But, if it was just a matter of orgasm, then why is a willing female even necessary? Let alone having to go through all the hassle of getting into her pants and between her legs (or etceteras)

The very definition of intercourse is the act of connecting with someone. And really, I think that that is sex’s biggest draw. Having sex is like proof that you aren’t isolated and alone in an uncaring ball of spinning dust. At that moment there is at least one person who is intensely interested in your well being, or, in the very worst cases would find t rather inconvenient if you died suddenly and unexpectedly. It is concrete evidence that you matter in those brief minutes or hours, and maybe more importantly, that someone matters to you.

Which brings us to the second biggest draw of sex, Intimacy. It is very difficult to be physically closer to another human being then by placing a part or your body inside a part of theirs. And it is very hard not to crave that closeness when things just  ‘work’ between two people. I mean this primarily in the sense of physical attractiveness, but it can be just as intense when you come across a mental or emotional connection. And if it is a combination of two or all three, well, I hope it works out for you, because it can be an incredible crash if it doesn’t.

There are purely personal, almost child-like, reasons for desiring sex too. All the textures and sensations, (and sights and tastes, and sounds) that can occur, having intercourse can turn into an almost infinite variety of adventures, depending on the scope of your imagination. It can almost be a thing of wonder exploring a person’s contours for the first time, parallel to Christmas morning when you were 8.

And, of coarse, who can forget the narcotic aspect of sex? Orgasms release endorphins, and few chemicals can top those for fighting depression.  So sex reactively becomes a method of relieving tension. Literally all my stress goes into my penis. This could be the curse of being a non-violent, drug-free male. I just want to explode, but the only place I can do that is in my pants.

Here is the best part:

So if I’m having a shitty and stress-drenched time of things and all I want to do is relax and get close to someone, but the option isn’t there, then I’m stuck. Call it a blockage in the river. The tension has no satisfying release, and ironically that causes more tension. And that causes a rather pissy Joe.
On top of this, when facing a deficiency in one of the other areas where sex can be a bandage, the tension get be almost double. In these cases there are all those feelings of loneliness or boredom, that not only don’t get fulfilled, but their lack of fulfillment causes tension in itself, which leads to horniness. Which leads to a really pissy Joe

And that, in short, is why I really really need to get laid more often.

404- Errata

Note that I haven’t mentioned anything about love, I did cover intimacy, which is thematically similar, but love goes beyond all that by many many levels. All I’m doing here is bitching about not getting laid though, The tribulations of Love can go in a different column.

As for the next session, Moxie compromised on me not quitting, and now I’m bimonthly, alternating Sundays, with Cyn’s Sins. Which is nice because it gives us both time to build up material, and, hell, probably tag team topics.

As always, Questions and comments are strongly welcome,

FOR SCIENCE (and mental well being)!